ZADR Orange Chapter 045

       Shaking his head at Dib's yelling, Zim's voice cracked a little when he went to speak again. "This is worse, Dib...Zim has done...bad...B-But...It wasn't intentional! I-I just...didn't know you wouldn't remember...A-And then...something...else happened...Please, just let me in!" the Irken tried again to get the door open.

        "If it wasn't intentional then why didn't you just tell me?! How could you expect that I would be mad about something you did unintentionally?!" Dib screamed at the other before falling silent again after a moment, making Zim think he wouldn't open the door.

        After a few moments, however, he opened it, just a crack, to peek out at the disguised alien, tears running down his cheeks. "Why couldn't you just tell me...? If you did something that I for some reason don't remember, then why couldn't you just fill me in on exactly what happened...?" he asked in a broken voice.

        Sniffing a bit himself, Zim dropped his gaze down to the ground. "I-I was afraid...You sounded like you were angry just thinking it was all a dream..." he said before looking back up at Dib, wondering if that was a big enough hint for Dib to piece things back together of what had happened.

        "What are you talking about? Thinking what was a dre-?" Dib cut himself short, eyes suddenly widening is realization. "O-Oh my god..." he pulled away from the door, taking a few unsteady steps backwards. "Oh my god! Wh-What happened the night before I woke up naked that morning, Zim?! I want the truth!" he screamed, obviously panicking now.

        Not getting too close to Dib to keep his guard down, Zim slipped into the room cautiously as soon as he got the chance to. "We had sex, Dib...That's what happened. A-And...It WAS perfect..." he finally came out with it, beginning to tell Dib everything he had told Gaz and Tak about that night.

        Completely frozen in his spot, Dib could only stare down at the ground with wide, disbelieving eyes. Once Zim had finished explaining everything, his only response was to shake his head. "N-No...No...H-How can that be possible if I don't remember it...?" he looked up at Zim with panicked eyes. "H-How could I have forgotten about something like that?! I...I couldn't have! This must be some sort of bad dream!" he backed up away from him even more, holding his head now and shaking it, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

        Eyes watering up, Zim could only watch Dib from his spot. "No, Dib. It happened...I-I knew you would get upset...I knew I should have told you...B-But I just didn't want to lose you..." he tried to make Dib understand where he was coming from in all of this.

        His breathing shaking, Dib lifted his head to stare back at Zim. "I-If you didn't want to lose me, then why didn't you tell me earlier that all that happened?! Why didn't you tell me when I first asked?! You know how important honesty is to me in this relationship!" he yelled at the other before dropping his voice back down to a whisper, staring back down at the ground beneath him.

        "I just want to know I can trust you..." he lifted his head again to stare at Zim, a more serious look on his face now. "Zim, if you're really serious about making this relationship work, then I want you to tell me everything now. Everything that happened and any other secrets you've been keeping from me. Please. I just need to know that there's still a chance we can work things out. But I can't work through anything with you until you've told me every last thing you've kept from me since that night." he said, needing some closure.

        Swallowing thickly, Zim nodded his head. "D-Dib...I-I bought some things while I was out...I-I think you should look at them..." he didn't think he could just blurt it out after how Dib had reacted to telling him they had had sex.

        Unable to help but feel slightly nervous by Zim's words, Dib paced back and forth a bit in a circle now, hugging himself and rubbing his arms up and down. "Wh-What kind of 'things?'" he asked, narrowing his eyes on Zim, obviously upset with the other.

        Rubbing one of his own arms nervously, Zim looked away. "Well, books mostly...J-Just come look..." he offered a hand to Dib.

        Glaring back at Zim, not liking the fact that the other wouldn't just give him a straight answer for once, Dib hesitantly reached out a hand to take the one being offered to him reluctantly. "I don't see what books have to do with any of this, Zim, so what you're showing me had better be good." he growled out irritably at the Irken.

        His eyes watering up again at the tone of Dib's voice, Zim sighed to himself sadly. "I'm sorry..." he apologized quietly before leading Dib up to the living room.

        Dropping his gaze back down to his feet, Dib allowed Zim to lead him to the elevator and then up to the living room before responding back in his own quiet voice. "I honestly don't know whether to believe you, Zim...My trust in you is shattered, and I don't know how long it will take to repair that damage... But I suppose we have to start somewhere, and the only place I can think to do that is right here, right now... So I suggest you don't lie to me from now on about anything else if you want to start fixing what you broke..." he said, the words 'I'm sorry' not enough to fix this situation.

        A little scared by Dib's words, Zim stared down at the floor almost lifelessly. "Y-You promise you won't get mad when I tell you this? Please promise me you won't leave...I couldn't bear it if you did...And it's not like I really knew much longer then you did..." he begged the other not to end their relationship because of this.

        "Wh-What do you mean you didn't 'know it much longer than I did?' What exactly are you trying to tell me, and how long have you been keeping it a secret from me? I can't make any promises unless I at least know that information. I can't promise that I won't get mad... Because whether I promise or not, you have to tell me what's going on...Otherwise, I won't have any other choice but to leave..."

        Knowing the boy was right, Zim nodded sadly. "I know I have to tell you..." he whispered, the elevator dinging as they got inside and headed on up to the main floor. "But honest, I only knew since this morning! I swear I had no idea this could even happen! I-I mean...I did, but not to you! I-I thought...you know...you were human enough that it wouldn't..." he tried to explain that it had only been an accident he couldn't have foreseen ever happening.

        "You thought I was human enough that WHAT wouldn't happen to me, Zim?!" Dib demanded, looking rather panicky now as he grabbed Zim by the front of his uniform top. "Zim, what did you do to me?! Does this have anything to do with why I've been so sick lately?!" he asked, thinking the worst case scenario to be that he had contracted some alien sexually transmitted disease from the other.

        "Dib...Please, just calm down, okay...?" Zim took both Dib's hands in his. "I have to show you...I don't think you're going to believe me if I just say it..." He led Dib out of the elevator and towards the living room where the large stack of books and painkillers sat.

        Doing his best to remain as calm as possible but failing miserably, Dib allowed Zim to sit him down on the couch next to the pile of books and pills. "Zim. Just tell me what's going on. Please." he pleaded with the other to just tell him, not wanting to have to figure it out on his own.

        But, seeing as how Zim refused to just say what he had done to him, he, after a moment, reluctantly turned his head to look at the pile of books before reaching out a hand to pick one of them up and look it over closely, his eyes growing even wider at the content. He turned his somewhat horrified look back on Zim. "Z-Zim? Wh-What are these?" he didn't want to say it himself, didn't want to admit that he already knew what they were.

        "Th-Those are pregnancy books, Dib..." Zim closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Y-You're pregnant..." he finally said what had been eating away at him all day.

        Dropping the book down to the ground and shaking his head, Dib began to shake violently where he sat. "N-No...No, that's not possible!" he got back up onto his feet and took a few unsteady steps backwards, away from Zim. "I'm not a female, Zim! Y-You must be mistaken! I CAN'T get pregnant! That's a physical impossibility!" he screamed back at the Irken, trying to make sense of all this.

        His gaze fixed on the ground as Dib yelled at him, Zim looked back up at him sadly after a moment or two. "For humans, yes. I thought so too...B-But it seems you were just Irken enough...I'm sorry..." he apologized again, knowing nothing would ever make this moment right for Dib.

        "What do you mean 'just Irken enough?!' Are you telling me that the males of your species are physically capable of giving birth?! Because if that's what you're telling me, why didn't you warn me about it before you agreed to change me?!" Dib continued to scream at him, hugging himself, his arms wrapped about his abdomen as he shook his head, beginning to break down now. "Zim, I can't be pregnant! I can't be! I can't! I-I can't...I...I...I have to go...I can't stay here." he made a break for the door, just needing to get away.

        "Dib, no!...Please don't go..."

        Tears staining his cheeks, Dib turned to look back at Zim when he was already halfway out of the door. "I-I'm sorry..." he whispered before turning back to leave the base completely, sprinting in the direction of Tak's base, needing somewhere to stay while he cleared out his head.

        Tears finally streaming down his own face, Zim watched wide-eyed. "Don't go..." he reached out one hand helplessly towards Dib's back. But he was already gone.

        Already halfway down the street, his own tears blinding him, Dib couldn't even bring himself to look back in the direction of Zim's base. It wasn't until he was about a mile away from Tak's base that he tripped and fell flat on his face, temporarily knocking the wind out of him, causing him to gasp for air before letting out a pained whimper, breaking down completely now.

        Then, slowly picking himself back up and stumbling the rest of the way to Tak's base, a complete wreck now, he finally reached Tak's base and knocked loudly on the door, really praying that his sister would get the door and not Tak.